Happy Hubby House Rules Explained- Rule 4

Train Your Children

Do you enjoy your children? Or are they frustrating? My heart breaks for the moms who enjoy more the times when they are NOT interacting with their children. I thoroughly enjoy my sons!! (I am not partial, God only gave me three boys.) I am with my boys every hour of every day except one shopping & errand trip every other Thursday or Friday and an occasional date night. I also homeschool. My boys are my life.

So how do I get anything done? How do I get my house clean? Here's my method. Some have done things with their children sooner than me, others later. This is not Bible doctrine. It is simply suggestion. Something to help you with your children. For those whose children do more than mine, feel free to leave suggestions!

Ok, back on track:

1) Be sure your children KNOW you love them. Jeremiah 31:3 says, "... Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore, with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." God Himself draws us in love! Think of your school teachers. Who was your favorite? My favorite was my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Hutchinson. Why? Because there was far more praise and approval than there was rebuke.
      When in the business world, they tell you to administer criticism this way: praise-- criticism-- second praise. Our children are eternal souls!! We point them toward eternity with our words. We form their lives with our praise and criticisms. Do we "draw" them to ourselves the way the Lord draws us to Himself? This step is the most vitally important! Think of it! The Lord dedicated all of I Corinthians 13 to the importance of this truth!! Without this step, the rest of what I say is nothing. As a matter of fact, the rest of these without love simply breed resentment.

2) Teach your children to work. The book of Proverbs is FULL of truths about the slothful. God made mankind to work. BEFORE the fall, they were to keep the garden. Without a job to do, people begin to fuss and backbite.
      So, here's what I did:

• As soon as they could take a toy out of a bucket, it was time to teach them to put it back. It was a game. They had no idea they were learning to work. Until they were around three or four, I assisted in cleanup to keep their minds focused.
• When they could walk, they put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket and their diapers in the trashcan.
• When they were two, they began to drag their laundry basket to the washing machine and dumping it out
• Around two (when they were tall enough) they began  to clear their plate, cup, and utensils from the table
• Around two and a half, they began to help set the table. I now have three kids, so each gets one thing: cup/ plate/ fork. (Sidenote: I put all cups and plates in the bottom cabinets. Pots and casserole dishes go high. Why? so my children can be part of our family "team.")
• When they could sit, they were sitting on a counter, playing in the water to "help" wash or rinse the dishes. But at three, they began to help put the dishes away. They now share the responsibility of emptying the dishwasher after breakfast every morning.
• Around 3 1/2 they learned how to fold clothes. Starting with washcloths. I helped until they did them right. If they do it wrong at 3 1/2, they will do it wrong at 13.
• As soon as they could, they dressed themselves. I do not pick outfits except for church services. Oh, and family pics. Yes, plaid and cammo is sometimes worn. Who cares? They feel accomplished, I saved time, and it makes great blackmail during the teen years. :)
• At six, they began putting their clothes away. By then, they could fold all their own. I helped them put the clothes for a couple weeks, to get them used to where everything went. Then, if it was not put away properly (after a good warning) I dumped the whole drawer out and they had to fold it up and try again.
• My oldest just turned nine. Since 8 1/2 he has started the washer and dryer. Now he washes, folds, and puts away his own clothes.
• Because of moves and crazy homelife, we are just now teaching all three boys how to make their own beds. Next on the agenda is to teach my nine year old how to cook on his own instead of just helping mommy.

      Why? Why do my children do these? For now, because it helps them to feel part of a team. But really? Because I am working myself out of a job. I have NO DESIRE to be a mom that washes and irons and cleans after my teenager. Let alone my college student.

3) Train them to obey. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Make that verse say what you will, I believe my GOD. Deuteronomy tells us to teach them "line upon line, precept upon precept."

• Since I started from day one, I taught them to lay still while I changed their diaper. I only said, "Straight leg" while I held their leg still with my arm and fastened that side of their diaper. I never had trouble changing them.
• First thing to teach them is "no." No means stop. No means look at Mommy to see what's next. Teaching them this in the crawling stage makes walking a breeze.
• Paci? For mine, I confined the paci to the crib at one year old. They were a "big boy" now. They could sit in the crib all day with their paci. But to get out, they had to surrender it. Then, to move from the crib to the toddler "big boy" bed, the paci stayed with the crib. They could sleep in the "big boy" bed, but could not bring the paci. When they woke in the night, I put them back in the crib with the paci. Mo oldest took a week to choose the bed over the paci. My second, three days. My third, zero. Easiest job ever!!
• We have three major house rules. They cover a multitude of sins.
• If it's not yours, and you don't ask, dont touch it.
• Obey right away with the right attitude.
• Ask first.

My hubby enjoys our children. I am not perfect. I am not always consistent. My youngest had a HUGE problem with anger until I figured out suggestion number one: LOVE. But I LOVE being around my boys. Other people like my boys.

Train them!! It brings peace to your home.